Has it really been a week? Again? I am pretty sure I have been saying that all summer long. And with the end approaching, I feel that time is going by even faster (that is except for when I try to sleep in the stifling heat). I have just under three weeks remaining in this country. I am finally being a tourist again in Jerusalem. Tonight I went into all the touristy-artist shops in the city center. However, I was able to tell them in Hebrew I was just looking and walked around a little more confidently than in days past. I find it a fascinating experience to go around as a tourist and as a resident. I know where I am going, and I see familiar faces, that being the resident part. However, I am going to places that really only tourists go and viewing sites from that perspective.
I have also begun the process of trying to figure out what I am going to do once in Colorado again. What will I do when it is time to daven Shacharit or mincha or ma'ariv? Will I pull out my bencher in a restaurant or at the breakfast table? Will I maintain my level of kashrut? Can I? Do I want to? Where will I satiate my need for Jewish studies? Do I continue to wear skirts, and why? Shomer Shabbat and what does that mean? These are really only a few of the questions that I find myself facing on a daily basis.
I am back to visiting the old city quite often. There is just something in that place which is truly remarkable. Perhaps it is the energy of the people who visit which make it tantalizing. Perhaps it is the history. Ani lo yoda'at. I went to the kotel on Tisha B'Av. It was jam-packed with mourners. An entire people mourning the loss of their people for ages. The day is so sorrowful, it is contagious. I stayed in during the day because it was just too hot to go out, and it wouldn't have been smart to do so while on a full fast. Monday night at the kotel was one of the most intense times I've been there. Thousands of women (I didn't pay attention to the men) in collective prayer and sorrow. We were standing at the very place that 1937 yrs ago fell to the Romans. We touched our history. I could vividly imagine the bloodshed. The rocks had not been disturbed for nearly 2000 years and there I was, looking at them, touching them. I cannot express how surreal the experience was.
There is little else like the old city for me.
And then we fast forward to today. One of my IDF (Israeli Defense Force) friends was talking about explosives in tunnels, below Gaza. He spoke of bombing the tunnels which are used to transport goods into Gaza. By goods, I really mean weapons and intelligence. I sat there and wondered what the next day was going to bring. What will happen to Tisha B'Av in the distant future? The idea of an enemy has not yet disappeared.
The intense heat adds to the tension. Actually, that is why many wars in this region occur in the summer time. The heat is just too much. Jerusalem is experiencing yet another heat wave. Around 100F and coupled with 100% humidity. I am sweating from places that I didn't know had sweat glands. The air is thick with pollution and dirt that never seems to dissipate. No air conditioning, no fans, no relief. I thought about riding the bus for the evening--just because it is air conditioned, but then I remembered that they give me motion sickness. Didn't seem like an appropriate trade off. So here I sit and sweat. Even the evenings aren't nearly pleasant any more. We are hoping for the spell to break in the next day or so. Then again, they've been saying that for two days.
That's about all from here. I still haven't decided what I am going to do on my last week. My dad once said, a long time ago actually, no decision is a decision. I have a feeling that is going to pan itself out fairly accurately this time around.
Wish you all well, and I will see you in three weeks.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
time for a poll
Hello all--
I hope this finds you well and staying cool in the midst of a nasty hot summer. All over the world it is hot, but never mind that global warming thing.
Anyway, no political rant at the moment, I am actually hoping to get some input from anyone willing to share.
I have a couple questions of various nature.
First, I have something like 8 days off at the end of my trip that I presently have nothing scheduled. The options are practically endless.
A) Go to Eilat, Israel: ~46C, touristy, sea and sand and sun and fun. Least expensive option
B) Go to Petra, Jordan: ~45C, touristy, big rock where Indian Jones was filmed. Middle $ option.
C) Go to Cyprus: ~28C, calm, ocean, little villa in little village. Most expensive option
D) Stay in Jerusalem and really get in me before I go, see it as a tourist and resident, again.
E) None of the above, will require suggestion.
The other question I had is significantly lengthier in terms of an answer. Here in Jerusalem, religion is a very big deal to put it mildly. The question I'd like to pose is "what is the definition of religion?" I don't want an answer that can be found on wikipedia or google either. This is one of those questions that can only be answered individually and yet has much larger implications.
I've had a long day, moving my things from one apartment to another in the ucky heat. And emotionally I had to say goodbye to my roommate. We only were together for a few weeks and during that time we had some of the most special conversations. He is also the first person I've had to say goodbye to that I'm not sure I will see again. It's been pretty rough and that will only continue to be the case over the next week or so. Off to bed.
I hope this finds you well and staying cool in the midst of a nasty hot summer. All over the world it is hot, but never mind that global warming thing.
Anyway, no political rant at the moment, I am actually hoping to get some input from anyone willing to share.
I have a couple questions of various nature.
First, I have something like 8 days off at the end of my trip that I presently have nothing scheduled. The options are practically endless.
A) Go to Eilat, Israel: ~46C, touristy, sea and sand and sun and fun. Least expensive option
B) Go to Petra, Jordan: ~45C, touristy, big rock where Indian Jones was filmed. Middle $ option.
C) Go to Cyprus: ~28C, calm, ocean, little villa in little village. Most expensive option
D) Stay in Jerusalem and really get in me before I go, see it as a tourist and resident, again.
E) None of the above, will require suggestion.
The other question I had is significantly lengthier in terms of an answer. Here in Jerusalem, religion is a very big deal to put it mildly. The question I'd like to pose is "what is the definition of religion?" I don't want an answer that can be found on wikipedia or google either. This is one of those questions that can only be answered individually and yet has much larger implications.
I've had a long day, moving my things from one apartment to another in the ucky heat. And emotionally I had to say goodbye to my roommate. We only were together for a few weeks and during that time we had some of the most special conversations. He is also the first person I've had to say goodbye to that I'm not sure I will see again. It's been pretty rough and that will only continue to be the case over the next week or so. Off to bed.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
An American in Israel
I've been noticing things that happen here with a compare/contrast eye. There are activities that happen in various cultures that are not unique to them and just different than America. Then there are behaviours which I really think only happen in Israel. I say this with very little experience outside the States. Some examples:
When riding a bus, a person from the back will send up a 200 shekel note (worth ~$50) up to the front for the bus driver. On the way back will be a bus pass and the correct change. No one blinks an eye; no one thinks of 'borrowing' from the change. And if you don't know what to do (because frankly when someone taps you on the shoulder and hands you a large bill and speaks in a foreign language, knowing what to do is somewhat of a mystery the first couple of times), there is an idea that you are breaking a social norm.
Also, this society is very much child oriented (at least in the more religious cities). This too is evident on the bus. Women get on with their strollers and groceries and the bus driver takes off before she has a chance to sit. People reach out and hold the stroller. As the woman gets off, people jump up to help her exit with all the stairs and the driver waits while this happens. This same driver won't wait for someone who is running to the bus if they don't make it there on time. Fascinating.
Policemen drive up and down the pedestrian mall, both in cars and on horseback.
Guards sit outside restaurants with guns. And they sit outside of the supermarket and all the banks and it's accepted, in some cases, required. Even pizza joints.
I find the terminology used to describe native Israelis, sabre, is becoming more and more clear and accurate. Harsh on the outside and just the sweetest people on the inside.
This place, and for now I'll limit it to Jerusalem because that is really where my exposure lie, is truly a dichotomy. And extreme too, most things are black and white, very little, if any grey. You are religious or you're not. You're native or you're olim. You keep kosher or you don't. Keep shabbat or not. Middle ground is not a concept or attitude many choose to adopt. This can be very difficult to handle. For someone like me, my world is grey (or colorful as I choose to see it). Do I keep Shabbat? yes in the way that works for me. I dress in skirts because I like it, not because I think it is more modest (whole other discussion there). It is quite frustrating really if I allow myself to get wrapped up in it. And that is the key, not getting inundated with the issues and allowing myself to be manipulated in one direction or another.
Okay, fun note. So the room I am subletting is actually going to be up with its lease much sooner than initially thought. As in this Friday (rather than Aug 10). Leaves me homeless. Fine. Whatever. Well, my roommate has had sufficient run-ins with the nasty landlord and has decided to take a passive-aggressive approach to the whole situation. Let me also say that the landlord has no idea I'm there. Nor was there a security deposit or any forwarding information, etc. My roommate likes to paint and has taken to doing so on the walls. The art work is rather beautiful and I would love to move into a place like that if I were the next tenant. Then things got devious and roommate decided to move to a new medium: wax crayons. I was in an interesting dilemma: I could participate or not. I seized the opportunity to draw on walls. In the kitchen above the cabinets I left a keyboard in black and red. Then I had the idea that words are super powerful and what a wonder to put those on a wall. So last night, roommate and Dekel and I took those crayons and wrote all over the wall various emotions. We had over 300 words in the end and it is amazing. I took pictures because this is something that won't happen in the states. Fascinating.
Yeshiva is going great. Like I said last time, I really cannot fully grasp everything that is happening. We are two weeks in, though because it is really structured as two three week sessions, there is a sense that the end is approaching. And people I've met will be departing and new people will be arriving. It's very tumultuous. Ulpan is getting more challenging and yet also very enjoyable.
My typical complaint is still very present and prominent. Last night the mosquitoes were out in force and my face is terribly swollen. I will not miss that at all; at all.
Miss you all and think about you often. Hope all is well and would love to hear what's going on.
When riding a bus, a person from the back will send up a 200 shekel note (worth ~$50) up to the front for the bus driver. On the way back will be a bus pass and the correct change. No one blinks an eye; no one thinks of 'borrowing' from the change. And if you don't know what to do (because frankly when someone taps you on the shoulder and hands you a large bill and speaks in a foreign language, knowing what to do is somewhat of a mystery the first couple of times), there is an idea that you are breaking a social norm.
Also, this society is very much child oriented (at least in the more religious cities). This too is evident on the bus. Women get on with their strollers and groceries and the bus driver takes off before she has a chance to sit. People reach out and hold the stroller. As the woman gets off, people jump up to help her exit with all the stairs and the driver waits while this happens. This same driver won't wait for someone who is running to the bus if they don't make it there on time. Fascinating.
Policemen drive up and down the pedestrian mall, both in cars and on horseback.
Guards sit outside restaurants with guns. And they sit outside of the supermarket and all the banks and it's accepted, in some cases, required. Even pizza joints.
I find the terminology used to describe native Israelis, sabre, is becoming more and more clear and accurate. Harsh on the outside and just the sweetest people on the inside.
This place, and for now I'll limit it to Jerusalem because that is really where my exposure lie, is truly a dichotomy. And extreme too, most things are black and white, very little, if any grey. You are religious or you're not. You're native or you're olim. You keep kosher or you don't. Keep shabbat or not. Middle ground is not a concept or attitude many choose to adopt. This can be very difficult to handle. For someone like me, my world is grey (or colorful as I choose to see it). Do I keep Shabbat? yes in the way that works for me. I dress in skirts because I like it, not because I think it is more modest (whole other discussion there). It is quite frustrating really if I allow myself to get wrapped up in it. And that is the key, not getting inundated with the issues and allowing myself to be manipulated in one direction or another.
Okay, fun note. So the room I am subletting is actually going to be up with its lease much sooner than initially thought. As in this Friday (rather than Aug 10). Leaves me homeless. Fine. Whatever. Well, my roommate has had sufficient run-ins with the nasty landlord and has decided to take a passive-aggressive approach to the whole situation. Let me also say that the landlord has no idea I'm there. Nor was there a security deposit or any forwarding information, etc. My roommate likes to paint and has taken to doing so on the walls. The art work is rather beautiful and I would love to move into a place like that if I were the next tenant. Then things got devious and roommate decided to move to a new medium: wax crayons. I was in an interesting dilemma: I could participate or not. I seized the opportunity to draw on walls. In the kitchen above the cabinets I left a keyboard in black and red. Then I had the idea that words are super powerful and what a wonder to put those on a wall. So last night, roommate and Dekel and I took those crayons and wrote all over the wall various emotions. We had over 300 words in the end and it is amazing. I took pictures because this is something that won't happen in the states. Fascinating.
Yeshiva is going great. Like I said last time, I really cannot fully grasp everything that is happening. We are two weeks in, though because it is really structured as two three week sessions, there is a sense that the end is approaching. And people I've met will be departing and new people will be arriving. It's very tumultuous. Ulpan is getting more challenging and yet also very enjoyable.
My typical complaint is still very present and prominent. Last night the mosquitoes were out in force and my face is terribly swollen. I will not miss that at all; at all.
Miss you all and think about you often. Hope all is well and would love to hear what's going on.
Monday, July 9, 2007
Little Yeshiva Girl...
Monday, July 9, 2007
It's been a week since I last wrote anything according to the calendar; it has been a whole new lifetime in so many other dimensions. Six days ago I walked into the yeshiva a brand new student. Do you recall your first day at school? For kindergarten, for high school, for college, for grad school, there were similar feelings for me last Sunday. But I am here to learn and nothing was going to stand in my way and nothing did. The other students are amazing and I have so much to learn from them and their lives. We engage in discussions about text and life without thinking that we just met. The days are rather long: shacharit, ulpan, lunch, mincha, study, dinner, homework. Ok, really long. And I'm exhausted. And I love it. I'm still not really sleeping--that can be done in another lifetime. The texts the rabbis are providing are intentionally provocative and yet accessible. Simultaneously, they are applicable to the wide range of student backgrounds which exist. I am fully aware that I don't fully grasp anything we are talking about and dissecting. All the paperwork they are handing out goes straight into a folder because it will take time and reflection to really try and understand everything that is contained within those words. From ulpan, from textual study, from talking on the street, my Hebrew is improving by leaps and bound every day. I still feel like a complete idiot when I order something at the bakery (takes me like 30sec to get a potato bureka). The one across from the yeshiva staffs people who are very understanding and patient; the same can't be said for other customers, and who can blame them?! Ani rotza shelosh kokie shokolad. I then reward myself by eating one of the newly purchased chocolate cookies.
I have not settled into a routine and I don't think I will. It still hasn't occurred to my social life that I am in school, and I'm okay with that. I'm getting along great with my new roommate--Elisha. I'll be there until Aug 9, when yeshiva ends and his lease runs out (just good timing). I haven't fully decided what I will do my last week here. I'd like to go to the Dead Sea. However, something about 44C, 100% humidity, $50, 6hr round trip bus ride, really makes the whole experience unappealing. Tel Aviv does nothing for me, in fact it is rather a deterrent to the Israel trip and something to be tolerated rather than sought after. The north is an idea and a possibility. I think watching the meteor showers from the hills of Tzfat or the shores of Tiverias on Aug 12 could be something for the memory books.
I don't believe I ever concluded the tallit story, so here I go. Ten minutes before the shop was to close I walked in, and didn't even need to see it to know it was still there. The sales lady saw me drooling (no really, I think I made a puddle on the floor) and asked if I wanted to try it on and I had to say no, not just yet. I knew how much it would cost financially, I also knew the return would far surpass that. I said I would return the next day with reinforcements. They were skeptical, but there I was, just before lunch time. Dekel was with me and then I put it on. The way she says it happened was that it found me, not the other way around. I was transformed when I had it wrapped over me. I cannot describe the feeling, the sensation, you'll just have to see it with me. I was able to personalize it though with my names: Ilanah and Rachael. I also purchased a kippah to match and that will be a new experience. The weaver told me it would take him about 40 days to make it. Now I realize that time includes other orders, but actual time spent on a single tallit is over 2wks with one person working on it full time. No way to convey what it will mean to me to wear it.
I am getting help learning my torah portion for Rosh HaShannah from several rabbis. Not because I asked but because they offered. I am learning it in order to own it, the musical notes are just icing. That feels tremendously different than what I did last year.
To clear up any thoughts, I want to say I am having an unbelievable time here. And yes, truthfully, I cannot imagine what it is going to be like when I am not here and instead back in Boulder. Only time will tell how life-changing this "vacation" will be. Having said that, I cannot wait to give everyone a hug (and chase after little Noah!). Hope all is well and I'll see you sooner than we all realize.
It's been a week since I last wrote anything according to the calendar; it has been a whole new lifetime in so many other dimensions. Six days ago I walked into the yeshiva a brand new student. Do you recall your first day at school? For kindergarten, for high school, for college, for grad school, there were similar feelings for me last Sunday. But I am here to learn and nothing was going to stand in my way and nothing did. The other students are amazing and I have so much to learn from them and their lives. We engage in discussions about text and life without thinking that we just met. The days are rather long: shacharit, ulpan, lunch, mincha, study, dinner, homework. Ok, really long. And I'm exhausted. And I love it. I'm still not really sleeping--that can be done in another lifetime. The texts the rabbis are providing are intentionally provocative and yet accessible. Simultaneously, they are applicable to the wide range of student backgrounds which exist. I am fully aware that I don't fully grasp anything we are talking about and dissecting. All the paperwork they are handing out goes straight into a folder because it will take time and reflection to really try and understand everything that is contained within those words. From ulpan, from textual study, from talking on the street, my Hebrew is improving by leaps and bound every day. I still feel like a complete idiot when I order something at the bakery (takes me like 30sec to get a potato bureka). The one across from the yeshiva staffs people who are very understanding and patient; the same can't be said for other customers, and who can blame them?! Ani rotza shelosh kokie shokolad. I then reward myself by eating one of the newly purchased chocolate cookies.
I have not settled into a routine and I don't think I will. It still hasn't occurred to my social life that I am in school, and I'm okay with that. I'm getting along great with my new roommate--Elisha. I'll be there until Aug 9, when yeshiva ends and his lease runs out (just good timing). I haven't fully decided what I will do my last week here. I'd like to go to the Dead Sea. However, something about 44C, 100% humidity, $50, 6hr round trip bus ride, really makes the whole experience unappealing. Tel Aviv does nothing for me, in fact it is rather a deterrent to the Israel trip and something to be tolerated rather than sought after. The north is an idea and a possibility. I think watching the meteor showers from the hills of Tzfat or the shores of Tiverias on Aug 12 could be something for the memory books.
I don't believe I ever concluded the tallit story, so here I go. Ten minutes before the shop was to close I walked in, and didn't even need to see it to know it was still there. The sales lady saw me drooling (no really, I think I made a puddle on the floor) and asked if I wanted to try it on and I had to say no, not just yet. I knew how much it would cost financially, I also knew the return would far surpass that. I said I would return the next day with reinforcements. They were skeptical, but there I was, just before lunch time. Dekel was with me and then I put it on. The way she says it happened was that it found me, not the other way around. I was transformed when I had it wrapped over me. I cannot describe the feeling, the sensation, you'll just have to see it with me. I was able to personalize it though with my names: Ilanah and Rachael. I also purchased a kippah to match and that will be a new experience. The weaver told me it would take him about 40 days to make it. Now I realize that time includes other orders, but actual time spent on a single tallit is over 2wks with one person working on it full time. No way to convey what it will mean to me to wear it.
I am getting help learning my torah portion for Rosh HaShannah from several rabbis. Not because I asked but because they offered. I am learning it in order to own it, the musical notes are just icing. That feels tremendously different than what I did last year.
To clear up any thoughts, I want to say I am having an unbelievable time here. And yes, truthfully, I cannot imagine what it is going to be like when I am not here and instead back in Boulder. Only time will tell how life-changing this "vacation" will be. Having said that, I cannot wait to give everyone a hug (and chase after little Noah!). Hope all is well and I'll see you sooner than we all realize.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
First day of classes
Today was the first day at the yeshiva. What an experience! We did a little into to davening and then did that for ~45min. Then came official welcome and misc hanging around. Off to ulpan. I knew I would be in ulpan aleph and that is a good decision. I wish I had known how to read/write script before coming. Apparently, no one writes in block. Other than that little stumbling block it is a great class. Good size with about 17 other students of various skill levels and backgrounds. I think that will be a very taxing class. At 3.5hrs long, and meeting every day, it has potential to be one of the most intense too. Ok, yeah, I know, that is what ulpan means--still.
Mishna with chavruta is what I am interested in on a completely different level. Today we discussed the Shema (of course we did). I think I really need to know how to find the appropriate partner for my chavruta to really make the most out of the experience. I will do so on Tuesday.
And then, finally, a class that has direct practical application, and one that I knew a little about--torah chanting. I am getting more background than I ever knew existed. And yet, I didn't feel completely lost. I know how to chant a mercha and tipcha, yes! I am excited to begin learning my portion (day 1 of creation) for Rosh HaShannah with this new insight and guidance.
These next six weeks will be exhausting on so many levels. While I assumed that and was prepared for that coming in, I didn't know that. Today, I am much more aware.
Not to mention, sitting for 8hrs a day is not something I am accustomed to any more and that is physically difficult. I actually got up and stood there for a while I couldn't take it.
The group is a good one, very diverse. Many age groups are represented (w/ the exception of ~35-50), equal genders, lots of religious diversity too. Today allowed me to feel concrete about this decision being a good one.
I get to go have some cheese and wine now (hope you see the oddity of that) and then off to study.
Hope you are all well and we'll be in touch.
Mishna with chavruta is what I am interested in on a completely different level. Today we discussed the Shema (of course we did). I think I really need to know how to find the appropriate partner for my chavruta to really make the most out of the experience. I will do so on Tuesday.
And then, finally, a class that has direct practical application, and one that I knew a little about--torah chanting. I am getting more background than I ever knew existed. And yet, I didn't feel completely lost. I know how to chant a mercha and tipcha, yes! I am excited to begin learning my portion (day 1 of creation) for Rosh HaShannah with this new insight and guidance.
These next six weeks will be exhausting on so many levels. While I assumed that and was prepared for that coming in, I didn't know that. Today, I am much more aware.
Not to mention, sitting for 8hrs a day is not something I am accustomed to any more and that is physically difficult. I actually got up and stood there for a while I couldn't take it.
The group is a good one, very diverse. Many age groups are represented (w/ the exception of ~35-50), equal genders, lots of religious diversity too. Today allowed me to feel concrete about this decision being a good one.
I get to go have some cheese and wine now (hope you see the oddity of that) and then off to study.
Hope you are all well and we'll be in touch.
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