Maybe it is because so many Jews travel to Israel do so many people meet unexpectedly. I have not had as much experience with that until recently.
Today I ran into Jesse from Livnot 170--the program I did the first time I came to Israel. The warmth we had for each other was evident in our embrace. The look of surprise when I realized it was someone from Colorado took time to process and dissolve from both our faces. I cannot say how great it was to see someone from there. Or when standing out front today trying to tell people about this organization, asking where they are from, and hearing Boulder and getting to momentarily reminisce about familiar places. How quickly our minds forget. I was taking money today for passion fruit slushies (so delicious, they contain a stealth brain freeze as an extra surprise!), and some birthrighters only had American dollars. Only a few weeks ago the shekl was play money and now the dollar felt as such.
I met a woman today because she thought I was Israeli and wanted help with her Hebrew. I dispelled that notion with my English. Turns out she didn't really know English either. She spoke French and Spanish. Together we made several sentences of words from three languages (everything but French). High school Spanish made an interesting comeback; which is odd because I didn't think I ever really knew it. Being forced to speak something other than English though made it appear.
What a pity it is that more Americans don't really know another language. I mean, most of us I think are required to take a few years in h.s. and don't really have the opportunity to employ those skills. It's very common to meet people who know 3, 4, even 5 languages. Impressed barely scratches the surface.
That made me all the more excited for ulpan on Sunday, wow, Sunday. Seems so soon.
Dekel is coming up to Tzfat so we can act as tourists tomorrow. Seeing the city from a different view is clearly refreshing. Speaking of views, I got another one today.
In J-lem, many of the shop owners stand outside their doors. I found it very intimidating, as if they were saying 'you have to get through me if you want to shop here'. Mentally I'd reply that I'd rather shop elsewhere. Well, today, I was sitting outside the Livnot visitors center doing an analogous activity. I was sitting out there because there is no air conditioning and the breeze felt nice and provided temporary relief. This in addition to seeing who was coming and smile (that's the American in me). I found that my perspective was altered in a good way. --walk a mile in someone else's shoes--
I washed my feet explicitly last night. I know what you're probably thinking, shouldn't that happen anyway? (esp mom and dad, they are not quite black as when I was younger, but a close second). So I've been wearing sandals, a lot, very Israeli, very comfortable and more fashionable with skirts than tennis shoes. The mosquitoes love my feet. There is dirt everywhere. When I looked at them closely, I couldn't tell if they were covered in bite remains, a funky tan had developed, tons of dirt was caked on, or what. I scrubbed and scoured. Turns out, it was a little bit of everything. I'm going to need a life size brillo pad when I get back.
When I packed for this trip, I decided I didn't want to check my baggage. That saved on time and space and my back (I had to carry all of it several km multiple times). As we are all aware, the airport security people limit liquids to under 3oz, for everything, and only one small bag's worth. I am happy to report that I have only recently been scrapping the bottom for toothpaste and hair conditioner. Everything else has enough for a little while. I was quite surprised and thought I'd pass that little bit of info along.
Not much more to say just yet. I am finally journaling in my little book all the other things that have been happening (inside my head mostly). Those I'll share on a more personal note at a later time. It feels good to get some of it down though. I highly recommend the practice to all.
I'm off to study, need to learn my script aleph-bet (I only know block) and am reading a great book, and the sun will set soon and I have to go to this little cafe in Tzfat for that. It's called Canaan Gallery if anyone is interested or has been there. They are also known (moreso probably) for their hand woven talitot. I am still debating whether or not to get the one I saw last time I was here (Dec '05). I've thought about it ever since. I'm scared to go in there because I don't know how I'll react when I see it, assuming it's still there. Any input or advice is welcome. Actually that statement is true for everything, not just a tallit purchase.
Ahava L'Shalom
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Tiyul in West Bank
I cannot believe how hot it is here. I here that it is pretty warm over in Boulder too. Jerusalem hit something like 44C the other day. And this is the week I chose to go to Tzfat. Good in the sense that it is slightly cooler here (~39C) not so good in the sense that I am here to do manual labor.
I am back up here to work on more bomb shelters before classes start at the yeshiva. For some reason, doing manual labor is really what I need right now. All I can do is work, not think. It is far too hot (chamli!) to do more than sweat and work. Time for my brain and stuff to process things I've been experiencing on a subconscious level, while still being productive and helpful. It's rewarding doing this work.
I am very excited to start my classes, more from the learning aspect than anything. I found a new place to call home while I am here. I am subletting from an American who made Aliya only a year ago; he's a serious Zionist if I ever saw one. Great location, near where I was before. Still only a few minutes from everything I've grown accustomed to. And the best part about all this--I got to unpack. I cannot relate just how wonderful it felt to put things on a shelf and see them in all their glory. Ok, so a little over dramatic for a few skirts and some greeting cards, I know. I really like it there and it is a good fit.
On Thursday of last week, the new crowd I find myself with much of the time, decided to get out of Jerusalem. Not only did we all need a break from the city, but that day was the gay-pride parade and with over 8000 police officers, we just didn't feel like being involved. There we were, Riki (army, british), Jay (ex-army, italian), Dekel (student, american), and myself, renting a car for the day just as the streets were closing. In all our brilliance, the decision was made to go to the West Bank--thought it would be safer. Just kidding on that last part. I felt that if I ever got to go, this was the way to see it. Here's a terrible map of the area. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/West_Bank. I cannot find one that really shows all the places we were, I think because it is continually changing. I do recall that one area we were at was nicknamed the breeding ground for the terrorists: Shchem (I think that's how it is spelled). We had lunch in a Jewish settlement. We toured Eli over there, met some people in Revava. The day was surreal. I tried to appreciate the uniqueness of the situations, but I don't think I have even now. Picture this: the boys are in front, the girls in back. We are driving through Arab villages where the hatred is palpable from both sides. A Jew is on the side of the road, hitchhiking. Initially he declines our offer, he's shomer nagia (doesn't touch women). To accommodate him, we rearrange the car then and there so he can sit in front and not touch us. Italian opera is on the cd player. There are times when I wonder if I've ever experienced feelings like that before. We walked the biblical lands. We watched the sunset from the Tomb of the Prophet Samuel, together in comfortable silence.
There is something about this place. I am really glad I was able to see those areas; I have a new appreciation, perspective of the situation and all the raw emotions.
I am finding it easier and easier to strike up conversations with people I've only recently met. And real conversations. Going in with an open mind and listening to them and sharing has provided me with growth that I won't realize until I'm not fully in the middle of it.
I find that my walk is no longer that of a tourist most of the time. I walk with my head up, looking people in the eyes, at a moderate (not meandering) pace. I walk with a purpose and direction. That combined with my dress (mostly skirts and short sleeve or long sleeve tops), has many strangers identifying me as "sabre": an Israeli. Once they notice that I fumble over all the Hebrew words and get very frustrated do they question and look very surprised when I tell them I am American. It's interesting.
I start school on Sunday, for the next six weeks. The weekends are mine to with as I please and they will probably involve many tiyulim (excursions). I have a flight scheduled for Aug 18 to leave town. I am not thinking about that day, at all. I cannot. The three friends I mentioned earlier are so meaningful to me, I don't think I would be doing as well as I am without them. I know I wouldn't be. Community, there is so much to say for it. So to my community in the States, thanks and I'll see you in couple months.
I am back up here to work on more bomb shelters before classes start at the yeshiva. For some reason, doing manual labor is really what I need right now. All I can do is work, not think. It is far too hot (chamli!) to do more than sweat and work. Time for my brain and stuff to process things I've been experiencing on a subconscious level, while still being productive and helpful. It's rewarding doing this work.
I am very excited to start my classes, more from the learning aspect than anything. I found a new place to call home while I am here. I am subletting from an American who made Aliya only a year ago; he's a serious Zionist if I ever saw one. Great location, near where I was before. Still only a few minutes from everything I've grown accustomed to. And the best part about all this--I got to unpack. I cannot relate just how wonderful it felt to put things on a shelf and see them in all their glory. Ok, so a little over dramatic for a few skirts and some greeting cards, I know. I really like it there and it is a good fit.
On Thursday of last week, the new crowd I find myself with much of the time, decided to get out of Jerusalem. Not only did we all need a break from the city, but that day was the gay-pride parade and with over 8000 police officers, we just didn't feel like being involved. There we were, Riki (army, british), Jay (ex-army, italian), Dekel (student, american), and myself, renting a car for the day just as the streets were closing. In all our brilliance, the decision was made to go to the West Bank--thought it would be safer. Just kidding on that last part. I felt that if I ever got to go, this was the way to see it. Here's a terrible map of the area. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/West_Bank. I cannot find one that really shows all the places we were, I think because it is continually changing. I do recall that one area we were at was nicknamed the breeding ground for the terrorists: Shchem (I think that's how it is spelled). We had lunch in a Jewish settlement. We toured Eli over there, met some people in Revava. The day was surreal. I tried to appreciate the uniqueness of the situations, but I don't think I have even now. Picture this: the boys are in front, the girls in back. We are driving through Arab villages where the hatred is palpable from both sides. A Jew is on the side of the road, hitchhiking. Initially he declines our offer, he's shomer nagia (doesn't touch women). To accommodate him, we rearrange the car then and there so he can sit in front and not touch us. Italian opera is on the cd player. There are times when I wonder if I've ever experienced feelings like that before. We walked the biblical lands. We watched the sunset from the Tomb of the Prophet Samuel, together in comfortable silence.
There is something about this place. I am really glad I was able to see those areas; I have a new appreciation, perspective of the situation and all the raw emotions.
I am finding it easier and easier to strike up conversations with people I've only recently met. And real conversations. Going in with an open mind and listening to them and sharing has provided me with growth that I won't realize until I'm not fully in the middle of it.
I find that my walk is no longer that of a tourist most of the time. I walk with my head up, looking people in the eyes, at a moderate (not meandering) pace. I walk with a purpose and direction. That combined with my dress (mostly skirts and short sleeve or long sleeve tops), has many strangers identifying me as "sabre": an Israeli. Once they notice that I fumble over all the Hebrew words and get very frustrated do they question and look very surprised when I tell them I am American. It's interesting.
I start school on Sunday, for the next six weeks. The weekends are mine to with as I please and they will probably involve many tiyulim (excursions). I have a flight scheduled for Aug 18 to leave town. I am not thinking about that day, at all. I cannot. The three friends I mentioned earlier are so meaningful to me, I don't think I would be doing as well as I am without them. I know I wouldn't be. Community, there is so much to say for it. So to my community in the States, thanks and I'll see you in couple months.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Safe with caution
A few things have been going in this country that you may have heard about. I want to give you my perspective and that of those who live here.
First, the rockets in the north (kiryat Shemona), from Lebanon. The idea is that a Palestinian went into Lebanon and set them off, not Hezbullah. One didn't fire, one hit the UN area, and two came into the town that was seriously hit last year. Emotionally, it is incredibly tense because of what happened in last summer's war. It is doubtful that is what is happening though. I am not sure what to believe, but my safety is fairly important to me (I'm sure you're glad to hear that). With all the issues surrounding my "long walk" I have decided not to do it. I don't know what would happen if I were hiking in those hills and suddenly a ketusha rocket whizzed overhead. Bummer. I am pretty sure I will go to Tzfat to continue my work on bomb shelters up there (they need to finish like 70 more by summer's end). I liked the work, I love the town, and it'd be good to get out of J-lem for a little bit before classes start.
Speaking of J-lem, I don't know if any info about this city has gotten back to the states or not. If so, let me give my two agarot. There is a gay-pride march scheduled for Thursday. This does not sit well with the Haredi sect of Jews here. In order to protest the parade, certain Jews came out and demonstrated. By demonstrated, I mean used megaphones to curse anyone who supported the gay-pride; threw stones in a seemingly random way; blew the shofar; lit dumpsters on fire. I know that when I'm mad, the first thing I think to do is to burn a trash can. I mean come on people. There is a tremendous police force out and about. All of this is happening streets away from where I am staying. Sunday the air was thick with smoke from the fires. The Haredi are polluting the air of this holy city because they think the gays are polluting the religion. What am I missing? So that adds to the already stifling tension that constantly exists in this city.
Azza (or Gaza) is pretty heated at the moment too, moreso than a few months back. I say that because supplies are actually reaching a low point. Israel imports so many goods to the Palestinians in Azza, and that has recently been put to a halt. The Israeli gov't has promised to keep the water going though (and I think electricity, but there's more controversy there). Hamas and Fatah are verging on civil war it seems like.
Knowing these men, babies really, that are in these elite units, has given me such a different take on the situation. It's become personal. These boys put their lives on the line for all of us, every day. When one says he won't be home for Shabbat because he'll be in Azza (or right next to it), my heart skips a few beats. I feel helpless. It is such a different world here.
On a lighter, more tangible note, I'll be changing residences really soon--hopefully Thursday. For a variety of reasons, it was time for me to take my leave of this place as a home base, though I will be here hanging out and etc. I have actually chosen to live just a few blocks away. I am subletting a room in a 3-bedroom place. One room is for an IDF jobnik, the other for me, and the third is unknown. Has a full kitchen, yippie, finally a stove and oven (I'll be baking some cookies for sure!) And a bath tub. All I really wanted was a shower with a curtain, but a bathtub! What a luxury! It's a little more money that I wanted to pay, but you know what, that's all right. I'm really paying for location and proximity to my new friends. I'm still 15min from the Kotel, Yeshiva is less than 10min, Shuk is 5min, bus station around 20min, everything is walking distance. This is the city center. I wanted urban, I got it.
Because I made the decision to do this school thing, I had to go out and buy some more clothes. I'm all sorts of outfitted with skirts and sandals and look very J-lem. I feel better fitting in too.
I have my schedule of classes for the summer and I think it will challenge me and invigorate me at the same time.
Here's what I'll be doing:
9-12:30 : S-Th; Ulpan (intensive hebrew language learning)
2-4 : S, T, Th; Midrash (I)/ Mishnah (II)
2-4 : M, W; Teffilah (I)/Psalms (II)
4-6 : S; Torah chanting (I)/Prayer leading (II)
4-6 : T; Gardening in local areas
4-6 : M, W; Talmud power concepts (I)/Hasidic Masters (II)
It will be interesting to say the very least.
I hope all is well at home, and I know I keep saying this, but please feel free to write and stuff, i really enjoy hearing from everyone. Lots of love--Rae
First, the rockets in the north (kiryat Shemona), from Lebanon. The idea is that a Palestinian went into Lebanon and set them off, not Hezbullah. One didn't fire, one hit the UN area, and two came into the town that was seriously hit last year. Emotionally, it is incredibly tense because of what happened in last summer's war. It is doubtful that is what is happening though. I am not sure what to believe, but my safety is fairly important to me (I'm sure you're glad to hear that). With all the issues surrounding my "long walk" I have decided not to do it. I don't know what would happen if I were hiking in those hills and suddenly a ketusha rocket whizzed overhead. Bummer. I am pretty sure I will go to Tzfat to continue my work on bomb shelters up there (they need to finish like 70 more by summer's end). I liked the work, I love the town, and it'd be good to get out of J-lem for a little bit before classes start.
Speaking of J-lem, I don't know if any info about this city has gotten back to the states or not. If so, let me give my two agarot. There is a gay-pride march scheduled for Thursday. This does not sit well with the Haredi sect of Jews here. In order to protest the parade, certain Jews came out and demonstrated. By demonstrated, I mean used megaphones to curse anyone who supported the gay-pride; threw stones in a seemingly random way; blew the shofar; lit dumpsters on fire. I know that when I'm mad, the first thing I think to do is to burn a trash can. I mean come on people. There is a tremendous police force out and about. All of this is happening streets away from where I am staying. Sunday the air was thick with smoke from the fires. The Haredi are polluting the air of this holy city because they think the gays are polluting the religion. What am I missing? So that adds to the already stifling tension that constantly exists in this city.
Azza (or Gaza) is pretty heated at the moment too, moreso than a few months back. I say that because supplies are actually reaching a low point. Israel imports so many goods to the Palestinians in Azza, and that has recently been put to a halt. The Israeli gov't has promised to keep the water going though (and I think electricity, but there's more controversy there). Hamas and Fatah are verging on civil war it seems like.
Knowing these men, babies really, that are in these elite units, has given me such a different take on the situation. It's become personal. These boys put their lives on the line for all of us, every day. When one says he won't be home for Shabbat because he'll be in Azza (or right next to it), my heart skips a few beats. I feel helpless. It is such a different world here.
On a lighter, more tangible note, I'll be changing residences really soon--hopefully Thursday. For a variety of reasons, it was time for me to take my leave of this place as a home base, though I will be here hanging out and etc. I have actually chosen to live just a few blocks away. I am subletting a room in a 3-bedroom place. One room is for an IDF jobnik, the other for me, and the third is unknown. Has a full kitchen, yippie, finally a stove and oven (I'll be baking some cookies for sure!) And a bath tub. All I really wanted was a shower with a curtain, but a bathtub! What a luxury! It's a little more money that I wanted to pay, but you know what, that's all right. I'm really paying for location and proximity to my new friends. I'm still 15min from the Kotel, Yeshiva is less than 10min, Shuk is 5min, bus station around 20min, everything is walking distance. This is the city center. I wanted urban, I got it.
Because I made the decision to do this school thing, I had to go out and buy some more clothes. I'm all sorts of outfitted with skirts and sandals and look very J-lem. I feel better fitting in too.
I have my schedule of classes for the summer and I think it will challenge me and invigorate me at the same time.
Here's what I'll be doing:
9-12:30 : S-Th; Ulpan (intensive hebrew language learning)
2-4 : S, T, Th; Midrash (I)/ Mishnah (II)
2-4 : M, W; Teffilah (I)/Psalms (II)
4-6 : S; Torah chanting (I)/Prayer leading (II)
4-6 : T; Gardening in local areas
4-6 : M, W; Talmud power concepts (I)/Hasidic Masters (II)
It will be interesting to say the very least.
I hope all is well at home, and I know I keep saying this, but please feel free to write and stuff, i really enjoy hearing from everyone. Lots of love--Rae
Thursday, June 14, 2007
I am here
This place is a serious time warp. The days mesh together so perfectly and quickly. I have a hard time remembering all the wonderful things that have been happening.
The mosquitoes still really, really love me. Last night they dined on my face again and now my eyelids are incredibly swollen. I can't imagine what it will feel like to look normal again.
This past weekend (is it Thursday already?) I met up with the group from HHS. Can I just say how absolutely needed that was? I had no idea how awesome it would be to be in Israel with some tangible elements of home. Thank you to all of them. Thank you for letting me hitch a ride and overstay my welcome and crash the party etc. Those excursions gave me what I need to keep going.
Zichron Ya'akov is simply beautiful. And the members of Sulam Ya'akov even moreso. I cannot wait to go back there. Hopefully for another Shabbat in the coming months.
That's right, I said months--plural. Truly I was struggling to figure out what to do here. As the days passed, I couldn't imagine leaving. And when I really thought about it, I couldn't imagine going to a kibbutz. Just not my scene. As seems to be the case with everything here, I am having great difficulty getting the required information for the Israel Trail. I feel confident in my abilities, but I still need a map. I know, very demanding. I walked to the Gilabon waterfall with the HHS group and realized that I am looking forward to getting out there on my own. I am physically getting in much better shape than when I arrived and that feels great. As long as I continue to stick to not doing strenuous exercising from 1-5p basically, all is well. The time for doing this is shrinking. It now turns out that I need to be back in Jerusalem on June 29. And a friend wants to go to Eilat until June 20. I guess it's still 9days and that's good.
So why do I have to be back by a certain day? There's a little welcoming for the summer class that I am taking. Learning has always been an important part of my life. This trip is no different. And this trip has so many different avenues in which to continue learning. The program I've chosen to do combines ulpan and yeshiva. Ulpan for 3.5hrs/day, and yeshiva for 4.5hrs/day--five days a week. This is done at the conservative yeshiva in town (www.conservativeyeshiva.org). Originally I was somewhat opposed to learning Hebrew, truthfully. But why? Because I thought it was not something I could use very readily and really only in Israel. As I am here, I have decided that learning Hebrew is so much more than that. I'll gain some ability to understand biblical Hebrew from this ulpan. I won't be able to carry on conversations with Israelis at its conclusion, but I will have a much larger understanding. Even more importantly though, it connects to my people in another way. Hebrew is the language of the Jews, and I am a Jew. Language is a vital element in any culture.
My misperceptions and stereotypes of yeshiva prevented me from looking at that as an option. I heard that I just had to check it out from so many people. So I found one nearby (M'dreshet Rachel V'Chaya) and I was pleased that I proved myself right initially. The place felt like a cult, a brainwashing institution, a place for lost women who will just churn out lots of babies. I smirked at my discovery. And then I recoiled because I realized that I had just found a place that I knew would prove me right. Like statistics, you can find a study to prove any point. I looked further. While I'm not a feminist, I have a hard time with separation of duties and obligations and rights and learning and etc. Therefore, at this point I chose to eliminate any yeshiva that was only women (and of course only men). That really shrinks the pool. Anyway, I found the conservative yeshiva and entered with skepticism and with my defenses high. The garden, the smiles, the warmth, the beit midrash, was too much for my defenses. And so I just soaked it in. I spoke with three of the rabbi's there. I talked to students, I talked to the secretary.
I found myself in the position of trying to talk myself out of staying. And I couldn't come up with reasonable answers. I have to do this.
The program runs from July 1 to Aug 9. I am still trying to work out my flight details, so I don't know the exact date that I'll be returning. For those six weeks I'll get to experience life in Jerusalem with the structure of learning and the freedom of the weekends to do whatever (shabbat all over the country with new friends).
I know there are people at home who don't know why I am here. Some days verbalizing why I am, I can't either. "Do what you can, when you can" (thanks mom). Plus, what do people want most, what do they want more of: time. Not money, not things, but time. And right now, I have the time. I have more time than I ever thought possible. So to say to myself, I need to go home to get a job and sit around waiting to be accepted to grad school, isn't enough to leave here. Because here I am understanding what it is to be Jewish from all over the spectrum. I am making friends from all over the world. This is an extreme country, perhaps one of the most diverse in the whole world, and I am here. I am here. Dad once talked about some things in his life and he said, he just knew. Right now, this is what I know.
I'll try to put more down in the coming days and keep everyone posted with my little adventure.
Hope all is well at home. Please keep Holli Berman in your prayers. Please feel free to write/call, I love hearing from home. With love til later--Rae
The mosquitoes still really, really love me. Last night they dined on my face again and now my eyelids are incredibly swollen. I can't imagine what it will feel like to look normal again.
This past weekend (is it Thursday already?) I met up with the group from HHS. Can I just say how absolutely needed that was? I had no idea how awesome it would be to be in Israel with some tangible elements of home. Thank you to all of them. Thank you for letting me hitch a ride and overstay my welcome and crash the party etc. Those excursions gave me what I need to keep going.
Zichron Ya'akov is simply beautiful. And the members of Sulam Ya'akov even moreso. I cannot wait to go back there. Hopefully for another Shabbat in the coming months.
That's right, I said months--plural. Truly I was struggling to figure out what to do here. As the days passed, I couldn't imagine leaving. And when I really thought about it, I couldn't imagine going to a kibbutz. Just not my scene. As seems to be the case with everything here, I am having great difficulty getting the required information for the Israel Trail. I feel confident in my abilities, but I still need a map. I know, very demanding. I walked to the Gilabon waterfall with the HHS group and realized that I am looking forward to getting out there on my own. I am physically getting in much better shape than when I arrived and that feels great. As long as I continue to stick to not doing strenuous exercising from 1-5p basically, all is well. The time for doing this is shrinking. It now turns out that I need to be back in Jerusalem on June 29. And a friend wants to go to Eilat until June 20. I guess it's still 9days and that's good.
So why do I have to be back by a certain day? There's a little welcoming for the summer class that I am taking. Learning has always been an important part of my life. This trip is no different. And this trip has so many different avenues in which to continue learning. The program I've chosen to do combines ulpan and yeshiva. Ulpan for 3.5hrs/day, and yeshiva for 4.5hrs/day--five days a week. This is done at the conservative yeshiva in town (www.conservativeyeshiva.org). Originally I was somewhat opposed to learning Hebrew, truthfully. But why? Because I thought it was not something I could use very readily and really only in Israel. As I am here, I have decided that learning Hebrew is so much more than that. I'll gain some ability to understand biblical Hebrew from this ulpan. I won't be able to carry on conversations with Israelis at its conclusion, but I will have a much larger understanding. Even more importantly though, it connects to my people in another way. Hebrew is the language of the Jews, and I am a Jew. Language is a vital element in any culture.
My misperceptions and stereotypes of yeshiva prevented me from looking at that as an option. I heard that I just had to check it out from so many people. So I found one nearby (M'dreshet Rachel V'Chaya) and I was pleased that I proved myself right initially. The place felt like a cult, a brainwashing institution, a place for lost women who will just churn out lots of babies. I smirked at my discovery. And then I recoiled because I realized that I had just found a place that I knew would prove me right. Like statistics, you can find a study to prove any point. I looked further. While I'm not a feminist, I have a hard time with separation of duties and obligations and rights and learning and etc. Therefore, at this point I chose to eliminate any yeshiva that was only women (and of course only men). That really shrinks the pool. Anyway, I found the conservative yeshiva and entered with skepticism and with my defenses high. The garden, the smiles, the warmth, the beit midrash, was too much for my defenses. And so I just soaked it in. I spoke with three of the rabbi's there. I talked to students, I talked to the secretary.
I found myself in the position of trying to talk myself out of staying. And I couldn't come up with reasonable answers. I have to do this.
The program runs from July 1 to Aug 9. I am still trying to work out my flight details, so I don't know the exact date that I'll be returning. For those six weeks I'll get to experience life in Jerusalem with the structure of learning and the freedom of the weekends to do whatever (shabbat all over the country with new friends).
I know there are people at home who don't know why I am here. Some days verbalizing why I am, I can't either. "Do what you can, when you can" (thanks mom). Plus, what do people want most, what do they want more of: time. Not money, not things, but time. And right now, I have the time. I have more time than I ever thought possible. So to say to myself, I need to go home to get a job and sit around waiting to be accepted to grad school, isn't enough to leave here. Because here I am understanding what it is to be Jewish from all over the spectrum. I am making friends from all over the world. This is an extreme country, perhaps one of the most diverse in the whole world, and I am here. I am here. Dad once talked about some things in his life and he said, he just knew. Right now, this is what I know.
I'll try to put more down in the coming days and keep everyone posted with my little adventure.
Hope all is well at home. Please keep Holli Berman in your prayers. Please feel free to write/call, I love hearing from home. With love til later--Rae
Sunday, June 3, 2007
Decision headway
This past week has been somewhat of a break. I have spent most of it exploring the city center, Jerusalem that is. I am staying in the center of the center--Kikar Tzion. I'm here with someone from the Livnot program, and two army guys. Their friends stop by and great discussions have been had. The cultures are so amazing. Last night, it was some americans, a brit, an italian, a frenchman, a some israelis. They were all kind enough to speak English because I cannot follow Hebrew that well just yet. It's great to be here.
This week will involve volunteering at the soup kitchen restaurant I did with Livnot. Plus I'll do more city living and exploring. I'll look more into what to do in July as well. The next Shabbat I'll be in Zichron Ya'akov with HHS people and our sister congregation. I cannot wait to do that.
The week of the 10th family from Australia will be here too--incredibly excited to meet them. I may or may not go to Eilat and Petra that week, still to be decided.
And then, on June 17, I am planning on taking a bus up north, all the way north (Metula maybe), and then hiking the Israel National Trail down to Jerusalem. I don't have the maps yet or exact stops so I'm not positive how far, but the estimate is 220mi. The plan is to take just under 3wks to complete this in a style that more closely resembles day hiking with a big backpack. Meaning there are stops nearly every day for resupply, I don't need a tent, and I won't have any hot foods or stove stuff. Just a change of clothes, general camping stuff (compass, iodine tablets, knife, etc), and a sleeping bag. I am really looking forward to doing this. A small weight was lifted when I finally made this decision. As of now I plan to do this alone, though the guy I'm staying with has expressed some interest in coming. he's still trying to make decisions in his life, so we'll see. I feel comfortable and competent enough to do this solo. Great way to see the country and get to know the land.
I don't know what the American news is saying about this place, if anything, but it's safe for now. There is talk of something happening, then again, I imagine there usually is around here. As for the bombings in Sderot, that is just outside of Gaza, which is a couple hours drive from here. The ripple effect is minimal.
I hope you are all well and that life is as adventurous back at home.
This week will involve volunteering at the soup kitchen restaurant I did with Livnot. Plus I'll do more city living and exploring. I'll look more into what to do in July as well. The next Shabbat I'll be in Zichron Ya'akov with HHS people and our sister congregation. I cannot wait to do that.
The week of the 10th family from Australia will be here too--incredibly excited to meet them. I may or may not go to Eilat and Petra that week, still to be decided.
And then, on June 17, I am planning on taking a bus up north, all the way north (Metula maybe), and then hiking the Israel National Trail down to Jerusalem. I don't have the maps yet or exact stops so I'm not positive how far, but the estimate is 220mi. The plan is to take just under 3wks to complete this in a style that more closely resembles day hiking with a big backpack. Meaning there are stops nearly every day for resupply, I don't need a tent, and I won't have any hot foods or stove stuff. Just a change of clothes, general camping stuff (compass, iodine tablets, knife, etc), and a sleeping bag. I am really looking forward to doing this. A small weight was lifted when I finally made this decision. As of now I plan to do this alone, though the guy I'm staying with has expressed some interest in coming. he's still trying to make decisions in his life, so we'll see. I feel comfortable and competent enough to do this solo. Great way to see the country and get to know the land.
I don't know what the American news is saying about this place, if anything, but it's safe for now. There is talk of something happening, then again, I imagine there usually is around here. As for the bombings in Sderot, that is just outside of Gaza, which is a couple hours drive from here. The ripple effect is minimal.
I hope you are all well and that life is as adventurous back at home.
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